Living in the Shadow of Me

Living in the shadow of me
When eating was a choice
Remembering how it used to be


I didn't feel the pain
I had nothing to gain
Now I must refrain

Food was not the foe
Fear and Frustration
Now that's all I know

Revelation

Reveal your plan to me
My hands are open wide
I surrender all to you
I need you by my side

Guide and protect me
My future you know
I am lost without you
Show me where to go

These Feelings Inside

These feelings I have inside
This sadness I try to hide
The sense of loss I feel
I still can't believe this is real

Will today be a good day?
Will this bite cause me pain?
Do I try this new food?
Or should I just refrain?

I long to taste the food I smell
To gather with friends to eat
Burgers,chips, and yummy fries
Veggies, fruit, and meat

These feelings I have inside
This anger I try to hide
The sense of loss I feel
I still can't believe this is real

Names and Numbers

So I have a weird thing about numbers. For example Cameron has 7 letters in his first name, and that just happens to be my favorite number.I totally didn't plan that either! He has 20 letters in his whole name(Cameron James McGinnis), and he was born Oct 20th! Another cool thing are the numbers that associate with Haley. When I was pregnant with her I was 28, found out I was pregnant on Dec 28, and she was born on 8-28-08! She also has 18 letters in her full name! I must sound like a crazy person, but I just LOVE numbers! Now here is how our family numbers go...

Cameron-7 letters
Jeremy-6 letters
Haley-5 letters
Erin-4 letters

if you add the dogs!
Tux-3 letters
Cy-2 letters

My GP Poem

So yesterday I got an invitation to an event on Facebook to share a special original poem or write a story about my disease Gastroparesis(GP). The message board I am a part of is going to publish a book from those that submit something. I used to write poetry all the time, and remember how freeing it was to write them! I started writing a poem yesterday about my struggle with GP. I haven't written in sometime so I felt rusty at first. As soon as I started writing it all the words just came flowing out. I am thinking about starting a page of poems or possibly writing a poem a week here on my blog! Here is my poem I wrote for the book! I hope you enjoy it!

A Life Changed

I am sitting here reflecting on days past
When I took food for granted
Oh how things changed fast

I am sitting here remembering my life before
When I could eat anything
When I enjoyed going to the store

Now food haunts me I try not to let it show
Trying to act normal
Hoping they won't know

Why do I hide it? Why would they care?
I feel so embaressed
It feels so unfair

As I embark on this journey unknown
I remember the good times
Those memories I own


Written by Erin McGinnis

Our new addition

Since our dog Koko was put to sleep June 3rd, we have felt so empty. It was so weird to have just one dog, and he was so lonely. We decided it was time to add another friend to our life. We started our search online looking at local shelters. We visited Kent, and Bellevue numerous times. We wanted a dog that was young enough, and could keep up with our already active pup Tux. Jeremy wanted a puppy, but with us trying to sell our house, I really didn't want to deal with potty training a puppy. The last weekend of June we decided to head over to Wenatchee, and go to the Humane Society over there. We saw a few dogs online we wanted to check out. So we got up and made the 3 hr drive over. It was nice to get out of the house, and to spend time with the family. We also made sure we took our dog Tux so he could meet this new family member and approve. We don't want a dog he wasn't going to play with. After spending a few hours at the shelter, and taking a few dogs out for a walk we decided on a dog named Fozzy Bear. The only thing wrong was that someone else wanted him too, and had first dibs on him. We filled out the paperwork, and put him on second hold in case the other people did not want him. He was a german shepherd mix. He was so adorable, and loved Tux. The next day we decided to just keep looking just in case. We headed to a Pet Expo in Bellevue at the Petsmart. There were supposed to be over 100 dogs for adoption from all around Wa. When we got there it was so crowded. We had to stand in a big line to get in too. We saw a lot of dogs too! Before all this started I had made the comment I wanted another lab, and preferably a yellow lab this time since we already had a black lab. We saw one yellow lab named Shelby. She was so cute, and about 3 yrs old. We took her for a walk around the parking lot, but she didn't really want anything to do with Tux, and we didn't feel a real connection with her. We then took a few more dogs for a walk, but none of them were the ONE. We felt discouraged, but kept looking. We saw that Wenatchee Humane Society had brought some dogs down to the Expo. Some of those dogs we had seen just the day before! We asked the lady if she could check on the status of Fozzy Bear since we had not heard if he had been adopted. She called, and said he had been. My heart sank. I really did like that dog, and had an instant connection with him. I really didn't even want to keep looking. I just wanted Fozzy Bear. Jeremy convinced met o keep looking so we did. We came across another yellow lab named Cy. He looked cute so we decided to take him out and get to know him. The lady rescued these dogs, and kept them at her house. She was so sweet. She really cared about these pups. I told her about our family, and what we needed, and she said Cy sounded like a good choice. So it has been 1 1/2 weeks now, and Cy is fitting in just nicely! Tux is finally playing with him, and he has become a great addition to our house! We are still working on the play biting(which he does mostly to me). He is about 1 yr old so basically a big puppy! He is potty trained though, and has had no accidents so far! He is just a sweet dog, and i am so glad we decided to keep looking.

Oregon Trip 2011

So we finally took a family vacation! It was SO nice to relax, and just get away from it all! We went to Hood River, Oregon the first night. We went to Multnoma Falls first, and hiked up to the bridge. There were so many people!

There wasn't a whole lot to do in Hood River, but the views are beautiful! We took a family walk to the local park. It was very windy! I am glad I remembered to pack a coat for everyone! We also met a really nice older lady on our walk. She had a little toy Pomeranian dog. He was the cutest dog I have seen in a long time! We got to talking to her for probably 20 minutes about dogs! She was just so friendly! We headed back to our hotel, and had dinner at the hotel.

Second day we headed to McMinnville, Oregon. We decided to head thru Portland, and I met up with a friend in Newberg, Or. I hadn't seen her since highschool so it was fun! We went to a local park, and the kids played while I talked with my friend. We had originally planned to go to the Evergreen Aviation, and Space Museum that day, but we were tired from our trip. Cameron was itching to go swimming since our hotel in Hood River was doing work on there pool so it was closed for a week. We decided to just go swimming, and have a relaxing evening.Cameron loved the pool as did Haley! They are both little fishes! After our long swim we ended up walking to the local Albertsons which was like a few blocks away. The stroller we packed did come in handy after all! Thursday morning after breakfast we headed over to the Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum! It was such a blast! There was a ton of hands on things for kids to do, as well as a tour of the Spruce Goose airplane! It was HUGE! We also got to touch a piece of the moon,and a few meteorites. We also got to see a ton of airplanes, helicopters, and rockets.We were there for over 4 hrs! Then we let the kids play on there huge playground they have. They also have an indoor waterpark that just opened, but that was a separate fee, and we were already tired! We then grabbed some lunch, and headed to Tillamook, Oregon. We toured the Tillamook Cheese Factory! It was so fun! I had been there before, but it had been a long time! We got to see the factory workers making the cheese, and packaging it. We also learned how cheese, and ice cream is made! Then we headed downstairs to sample some cheese, and buy a few things in the gift shop. We ended up buying some squeaky cheese. It really does squeak when you eat it! They only sell it at the factory too. We couldn't leave before we had a chance to get a sweet treat! Haley got Udderly Chocolate ice cream, Cameron got Orange,and Jeremy got Marionberry Pie! I ended up getting peach, and vanilla frozen yogurt! It was yummy! After our tour of the factory, we headed up to Cannon Beach, Oregon. We walked on the beach, and saw some sealife! It was so fun to see the kids exploring for sea creatures! We forgot our kite, but I am not sure it was windy enough to fly it. After our beach fun we ended up in Seaside, Oregon where we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express! It was SO nice! We ate a nice place called Doogers! I do suggest it! I was able to eat some Ahi Tuna! It was yummy! The kids were exausted as were we so it didn't take long for them to konk out. In the morning we headed home. It was a wonderful trip! we had lots of fun, and made some memories! When we got home Cameron asked when we were gonna go on another vacation!:)